


Salty Thoughts

by SunnyD_lite



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Case Fic, F/M, Gen, Sn2, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-26
Updated: 2010-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-08 08:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyD_lite/pseuds/SunnyD_lite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new demon in town, and it needs a different kind of weapon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salty Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Season 2 between Some Assembly Required and School Hard  
> Prompt Pitch  
> A/N: Thank you to my beta **spiralleds** for editing this post travels! And this week I thought I'd try something different, PLOT!

"It was weird." Buffy dropped her satchel on the center table of the library as she got there moments before classes started.

"Like that's different from your normal evening activities, how?" Xander watched her from the stairs as he whittled another stake. He carefully dropped his eyes from the shortness of her skirt. Buffy was a friend, only. His hand began ghost over his work.

"Normally the vamps go poof or the demons go squish; this one broke my stake!"

"A few more details might assist me in narrowing the field of demons. Was it wearing armor, or did it have natural plating? Tall or short? Reptilian?" Giles hovered over his books, as a runner at the mark, ready to research.

"This might be more a Time-Life thingy rather than the dusty tome thingy. It looked like a snowman, but clear like ice and more squareish than roundish. So, if I can't stake it, how do I slay it?"

"Ice, you say? In this heat?"

"And marks for irony to the man in tweed during the traditional fall heat wave." Xander paused as he registered the others confused looks. "What? It's been a long summer. Can't you give me a week to re-train my witty repartee up to wit?"

Shaking her head, Buffy just focused her teasing on the other likely subject. "And who's jonesing for the supernatural?" She was smirking. "Wasn't the franken-cheerleader last Friday enough?"

Not letting Giles respond, Xander groaned. "And why did you have to bring up the Cordy beast? I'm still not sure I did the right thing saving her."

He mock-glared at Buffy. Glares were good. No drooling after the Buffster despite that dance they'd shared. Part of him knew that it hadn't been for his benefit. Parts of him were still perky at the memory. Think Giles, sans tweed. That did it. And Buffy was still talking.

"She's human until proven otherwise, Xander, therefore on the save list. So, Giles? What do you think?"

"About Cordelia's humanity? I'd rather not wager. Given her performance at the talent show last year, earthly origins might be doubtful."

"Oh look, he's trying those joke things!" Picking up his backpack, Xander started to head for the door. For some reason, Giles expected them to go to class.

"Maybe he's practicing for Ms. Calendar? I hear that women like a good sense of humor."

"That's what's wrong; I should stop looking at girls and start dating women." Never let it be said that he passed up a perfectly good straight line.

"I said a _good_ sense of humor, doofus."

She gave him a brief swat as they headed to different classes. Playful banter was a go. If he could keep his hormones in check he could stay a Scooby and not get pummeled for impure thoughts. And being a Scooby was reason enough to override his natural stupidity, or at least give it the old college try.  
********

After the last bell he always had a sense of escape. Even if he was just escaping to the library. He was putting his books into his locker when he realized that he had a stalker. Or actually, a hoverer.

Glancing down Xander noticed a pair of sandals with perfectly painted pink toe nails showing.

"How do you manage to stay alive if I can sneak up on you?"

He knew that voice. So, in an act of self-preservation, he flicked his eyes directly to her face. Do not pause at boobies, do not get kneed in the family jewels. "And it's a pleasure to see you too. Not."

"Sarcasm is the refuge of the lame."  
"Is there a reason you're here trading bon mots instead of oh, waving the pom-poms?"  
"It's pronounced bon mo. No 'T' or did you sleep through that French class?"  
Xander re-shouldered his bag and stepping back, slammed his locker shut. He took great glee in watching Cordelia jump at the noise. "I'm heading to the library. If you want to keep insulting me, you'll have move your feet as fast as that mouth."  
As soon as he turned he saw half the Junior Varsity football team heading his way. So did Cordelia.

"I should have known you wouldn't have the homework!" she said before gliding to the jocks. "So Billy, do you think we'll win the next game?"  
Ding! End of another round with Cordelia. He wondered what she'd actually wanted. Didn't matter, his Scooby duties awaited.

This time Willow was in the library, pouring over books with Giles. Quickly scanning the area, Xander opted to hop up on the check-out desk, well away from the research material.  
"So did Buffy come up with any more details? And where is our littlest Slayer?"

&gt;"Right here!" Buffy again swatted him as she exited Giles' office in her work-out gear. "And yes, I did come up with something. It hit me in science class. It was crystalline, but not the Swarovski kind. More like the salt experiment we did last year, when the salt grew up the string?"

"And I think we've found it!" Willow broke into one of her wide grins. "It's a sodium spatior, literally walking salt!"

"Can we sic it on the next set of leech monsters? Those things were foul."

"Leech monsters?" Buffy looked confused.

"It was over the summer. What? Just because you went away for the summer doesn't mean hell stops mouthing off." Xander found it easier to ignore her sports bra when she was assuming his incompetency.

"I guess." She turned to where the others were sitting. "So how do I slay salt? Get it wet?"

"That's witches, and only in Oz," said Willow. "But now we have a name, researching should be easier."

"Quite right, Willow. Now we merely must locate further references to piece together its specific details," contributed Giles.

"Book stuff. Until they come up with a Demons for Dummies, I'll just be over here working on my training." She hefted the punching bag over her shoulder and headed to the back of the stacks where they'd secured a hook.

"Hey, why does she get out of the homework portion of the day?" Wait a second, did he just say that because--

Giles turned and peered over his glasses at him. "Xander, your complaint might merit further consideration if you were within five feet of a book."

And boy, had he walked into that one. With a sigh he pushed himself off the counter and settled beside Willow. She gave him a sideways glance through her long hair, and with a smirk, shoved a book at him.

He began scanning the text, tuning the pages in time with the rhythmic thumping as Buffy worked the bag. His eyes seeing yet not seeing the page until, "Hey, I think I've got something."

There was no response to his declaration. Nothing new there.

"Hey Buff-miester." The thumping stopped. "Should be easy to track it, apparently 'where it passes no more shall the earth bear fruit'. So, I'm thinking it leaves dead grass, kind of like when Uncle Rory wandered in circles and over-fertilized, burning the lawn when he was drunk."

"I remember that," piped up Willow. "It made the coolest maze thing and we played in it all summer."

"Okay, so I'll know how to find it. Any ideas on the slaying? Or maybe it will just go away?" Puppy dog eyes? She was using the puppy dog eyes on Giles?

"And when have I advocated that approach? The Slayer slays."

Xander restrained a grin as she huffed in response. One point for the tweedman. He looked down at the entry he'd been reading. "Well, they're not too bright – guess that proves the rocks for brains theory — and it says here that ' they be enemy of earth, impervious to flame and water and that only weapons of the air may defeat them'. Huh. Wonder if they mean an air horn?"

"That conjecture might not be too far off," Giles confirmed. "That's the Hansen tome?" Giles reached over and lifted Xander's book from the table, thumbing ahead. "Richardson elaborates on that reference with a more scientific approach. Noise or rather certain pitches will set up such a disharmonic resonance that it will case the beast to--" Here he paused, looking up in his smug found-the-answer fashion, "shatter."

"That sounds easier on the laundry. Wasn't looking forward to explaining head to toe salt stains to my mom. Long distance slayage; I'm liking it." Buffy hopped up on the table beside Giles.

"So, any ideas on what pitch?" She continued. "Should I dig the bat tape out again?"

Xander cringed at the reminder of his first fling hellmouth style. Stupid body, it was still reacting to Miss French's human form at least once a month, even knowing what she really looked like. Then again, he'd seen Buffy all vampy, the evil kind, and he still lusted after her.  
"No, that wouldn't do it. As Richardson postulates, only something beyond nature would work. It would have to be more discordant than harmonic."

The doors to the library suddenly burst open as Cordelia continued her trend of grand entrances. Of course, the grandness was undercut by her over the shoulder checking to make sure no one saw her.

"Good, all you are here, although I don't know where else I thought you'd be."

"Darn, you've learned the location of our secret headquarters, whatever shall we do?" Xander looked to see who'd come up with that zinger, only to find Willow giving him the thumbs up. Wow, his mouth engaged solo but got it right this time.

Cordelia glared at him but otherwise ignored his comment. "I just wanted to--"

Here she paused and took a deep breath as if bracing herself for something unpleasant. He admired that breath. It did great things for her chest, oh she was talking again.

"Thank you for rescuing me from the latest wackiness, and I was thinking that if you knew where I was you could like rescue me faster next time. I had to have Sergio trim off the singed hair."

Ah, classic Chase, self-centered even in gratitude.

"Plus, I figure if I help out, Mr. Giles can either call it extra credit or write me up a glowing reference letter for college applications next year." She stood there with the complete self-assurance of high school royalty.

Buffy slipped off the table and mirrored her pose. "Why thank you for that generous offer. Gee, if we should need your talents--"

At that word, Xander noticed Willow and Giles lock eyes. He'd seen that look before. The big brains had come up with a plan.

Willow took point, interrupting Buffy. "Cordelia, were you doing anything this evening? Cuz I was wondering if you could teach me to sing that song you did for the talent show?"

Willow, wanting to sing? She was as scared of performing as she was of frogs. Something was up here. Cordy had stunk at the talent show, hitting notes not previously known to man... and that's what they were looking for. Xander sat back, feeling like he'd finally caught up. But how would they get Cordy where the monster was?

He'd underestimated his Willow, and Cordy's vanity. It was a slam dunk.

*****  
The next morning they were back at the library, giving Giles the debriefing. Buffy was sitting on the table again, with her feet resting on the chair arms like it was an ottoman.

"Luckily that Sodium Splatter really liked the park. After a quick patrol, I told Willow to go to the swings, as they were almost encircled with the dead grass trails."

Willow was almost vibrating in her excitement. Or maybe it was from the mochachino he could smell in her hands. "And I told Cordy we needed space to practice without anyone overhearing us. She bought that and, as long as it wasn't a cemetery, was fine with the late night outing. I'm sure she didn't want anyone to see us. Does this make her a Scooby now? I don't think she should be a Scooby."

"Wills, breathing is not an optional activity!" Xander walked behind her to pull her into a friendly hug. She'd braved both a demon and Cordy's singing. But she also raised a valid point. He was having enough trouble concentrating when Buffy was around. If he had to spend time sniping with Cordy, could he ever really contribute? Would they let him hang out if he didn't?

"Are we going to let her highness join the merry men?"

"Merry MEN?" Buffy turned on the full wattage glare of the pre-caffeinated pissed off Slayer. It was enough to make sane men shake in their boots. Luckily he was wearing sneakers, and no one had ever claimed he was topped up on the side of sanity. However he did push Willow further in front of him, like a human shield.

"Okay, bad call. But Buffster, it's before first class; it's like that Miranda right, nothing I say before homeroom can be used against me! And what happened with the Salt Shaker?"

Discussion of slayage always appeased the violent side of his friend. A side he should keep more in the front of his mind. Was it bad that the power glare had woken up parts that should sleep during school hours? There was a reason he wore oversized shirts, un-tucked. Same reason he'd distanced himself from Willow. Course, talk of shop tools did the same thing, so he wasn't too worried.

Turning toward him, Willow answered. "It was a thing of beauty, I'm just glad I thought to put in earplugs. She was doing that really high part, you know, 'greatest love'?"

He nodded, not that he really remembered. Like most physically painful things, the memory faded as a form of self protection.  
"Well, she was doing that part just as the demon came through the bushes. It stood there for a second and then began to vibrate like a bow string! Before she'd repeated the chorus, it fell apart like a Jenga puzzle!"

"Willow, do you recall the distance? This is invaluable information and I should record it to assist others who might encounter the demon." Giles had pen in hand and was scribbling notes in a furious fashion.

That sounded all well and good, but Xander felt obliged to offer his two cents worth. "Giles, where are they going to get a Cordy?"

"Yes, quite right."

Xander almost felt bad as Giles appeared to deflate before their eyes. He had to admit, siccing Cordy on a demon had a sense of rightness to it, like a WWF grudge match. But he wasn't sure what he thought about the idea of Cordy spending more time with them, even if she could scare the monsters.

What was he thinking? Cordy wouldn't risk her popularity just because of a few kidnappings. Last night was probably the last they'd see of her, at least until there was an apocalypse or something.

And he refused to think about why he was looking forward to that happening.


End file.
